The Adventures of Sir Roderick, the Not-Very Brave Read online

  Rocky outcrops littered the ground, and green became an increasingly rare colour. Grey and brown, dust, dirt and rock were everywhere. There was a track of sorts but Roderick wondered if sticking to it might invite the same sort of peril that he had seen in his vision, so he headed off to its left and found himself picking a dusty route upwards through rocks, some as big as houses.

  Below to his right he could see the track winding its way through a desolate rock valley. Anyone on it could easily be seen by someone higher up, but if he kept climbing it would decrease the chances of him being seen, and give him a better view of everything. As he picked a route up through the boulders he wondered if whoever had captured Ruby was already watching him.

  The climb was steep, and pebbles, dirt and rocks slid as Fruitcake stood on them. Several times the horse nearly tripped or slid backwards, and finally Roderick dismounted and led him.

  Eventually the slope evened out and Roderick found himself on top of a long ridge. He stared out over the desolate plains and in the distance he could see the Circle of Mountains rise towards the sky.

  Far below to his right he could see the track, and to his left endless valleys and ridges stretched west. He didn’t know if he was safe, but at least on top of the ridge he felt safer than he had in the valley. He had a long drink, gave Fruitcake one and then remounted. It was easier going on top. The boulders were spread out and the dusty ground was mainly flat.

  Soon the ridge widened and they reached a huge rock platform extending out to the right. As they walked across it Roderick heard a deep male voice. He froze, then pulled out his sword and stared around. He could clearly hear a kind of guttural, excited chant, but there was no one there. He could see all around for miles. What was going on? Had he stumbled upon another invisible person? Maybe the world was full of them.

  He heard the voice again, now talking in a language he had never heard before. He tried to identify the direction the voice was coming from. Not out towards the edge of the rock shelf, and not the other way either. It seemed to be coming from . . . below? He dismounted. The noise was coming directly from his right foot! Had he somehow gained the ability to hear what his feet were thinking? Was it a conversation between two of his toes? If it was, why were they speaking a language he had never heard before?

  He lifted his foot. Beneath it was a crack in the ground, as long as his hand and as wide as a finger. The noise was coming from there. It was a talking crack! Either that or the crack led somewhere. He got down on his knees, put his ear to the crack and heard the voice so loudly that he was surprised he didn’t get spit in his ear.

  He tiptoed to the edge of the rock shelf. There was an amazing view, but there was no time for that. He lay face-down and inched his head slowly over the edge. To his left and right, the rock fell straight down for hundreds of metres, but directly below him was what appeared to be the entrance to a cave. It was about three metres high and below it the rock sloped more gently down towards the valley; a dusty path zigzagged down it to the track at the bottom.

  The voice must belong to someone inside the cave. But did they have anything to do with Ruby, and the danger she was in?

  Roderick slowly lowered his head further over the edge, facing into the cliff. If he went an inch too far he would overbalance and fall onto the rocks below.

  He could now see that the cave seemed to go way back into the cliff.

  Near the entrance were the remnants of a fire, and around it were spears, animal-fur rugs, and pots and pans. There was also a collection of bones against the wall, including what looked like at least two human skulls.

  Further back, seven or eight people partially covered in animal skins and furs stood in a semi-circle with their backs to him, crowding around something. Or someone? As one of the figures lunged forward, he thought he heard a female voice. Was it Ruby?

  One of the figures started to turn around. Roderick quickly pulled himself back up onto the rock shelf, breathing heavily.

  What should he do? If Ruby was in there, he had to try to rescue her. But how? It was all very well to take trippy glimpsing juice and then rush off to do something heroic, but now that he was actually here and something had to be done, he had no idea what it should be.

  And what if he mounted an exciting and daring rescue only to find that it wasn’t Ruby after all but a dead pig or a bowl of apricots? Worse still, what if they captured him?

  A scream burst out of the cave. He knew that voice. That was no bowl of apricots. That was Ruby! He had to do something, and do it quick. He looked around and had an idea. Near where he had dismounted was a pile of head-sized boulders. He ran over, grabbed one, carried it to the edge of the rock shelf and put it down. Then he went back for another and another. He made ten trips, carrying a rock each time.

  After placing the tenth rock he ran back past Fruitcake to the other side of the ridge to an expanse of dead yellow straw. It came out of the earth easily. He gathered as much as he could and carried it to the rock shelf, where he piled it up, and then made three more trips. As he passed the crack in the rock each time he heard more shouting and animated conversation, again in a language he could not understand. He got his pair of flint stones from his saddlebag and put them in his pocket. The rocks were lined up in a row along the edge of the rock shelf and behind them was the straw. He was already exhausted from all the carrying, but he was ready.

  He walked back to the crack, knelt down, funnelled his hands around his mouth, and screamed directly into the crack the loudest, craziest, weirdest, baddest scream he could. He did this five times, and then raced to the edge of the rock shelf.

  Roderick had hoped the scream would scare the cave-dwellers out of their cave, or at least lure them outside to investigate. Sure enough, about eight emerged, looking around in confusion and talking excitedly. They had small, squinty eyes and very big noses, and were dressed in animal skins. There were both men and women, and they all looked strong. Once they had taken a few steps out of the cave, Roderick pushed a rock over the edge. It landed with a tremendous smash just a few paces from where they had gathered. There were startled screams and the cave-dwellers retreated a few steps down the slope. Roderick pushed the second and third rocks and kept pushing until they were all gone. There were more yells. He peeked over the edge. As each rock hit the ground it started rolling down the slope towards the cave-dwellers. Already confused by Roderick’s screams, now they had rocks falling on them. They did what Roderick had hoped: they ran. On either side of the cave the rock became sheer, so their only option was to run straight down the slope, the rocks chasing them all the way.

  There was no one left outside the cave. Roderick threw the straw off the ledge into a pile just outside the cave, then lowered himself over the edge and let go. He landed on the straw and clambered to his feet. The cave-dwellers were still scuttling down the slope, but soon they would realise that there weren’t any more rocks coming.

  He crouched by the straw and smacked his flint stones together. A spark, but no flame. He tried again. Same result. The third time the spark caught the bone-dry straw. He cupped his hands around it and before long the straw was aflame. Thick black smoke began to billow from the fire.

  Down the hill some of the cave-dwellers had stopped and were shouting and pointing back towards the cave. No one seemed to be in a hurry to return. No wonder. One moment they had been happily tormenting someone, the next there were weird screams inside their cave and outside it, falling rocks and a fire appearing from nowhere.

  But Roderick knew the straw would burn quickly and once the smoke was gone, the cave-dwellers would come back. He headed into the cave.

  Against a wall, where the semi-circle of cave-dwellers had been, lay a pale green boot. Above it were circles of ropes enclosing something that looked human-shaped.

  ‘Roderick?’ said a surprised, weak voice. Ruby! The boot waved about. ‘Over here.’

 
Roderick ran over. ‘Why are you just a boot?’

  ‘I don’t know. It’s the only part of me that’s come back. Anyway, just get me out of here.’

  He threw an anxious look over his shoulder. The straw was burning down. He drew his knife and started to saw through the ropes that bound Ruby. He cut through those around her top half, and then knelt down to cut through the loops around her ankles.

  ‘Watch out!’ screamed Ruby.

  Roderick turned, and then instinctively ducked as a spear whistled past him. From the back of the cave strode a big, strong and very hairy man, dressed in rags and holding a huge sword. Roderick backed against the wall, holding his knife out in front of him. It might as well have been a carrot. The man stepped towards him and raised the sword two-handed above his head.

  Suddenly Roderick’s sword leapt out of his belt and plunged into the man’s stomach. Blood burst out. The man let out a terrible cry and fell back. Roderick’s sword pulled itself out of the man’s stomach and hovered in the air in front of him.

  ‘I’d better hang on to this, don’t you think,’ said Ruby. ‘Come on.’

  Roderick couldn’t move. He stared down at the cave-dweller. His eyes, a moment ago so fierce, now stared at nothing as he moaned softly. Roderick felt sick. Ruby’s hand pulled at him.

  ‘But he’s alive,’ said Roderick.

  ‘We have to go!’

  ‘We can’t just leave him like that.’

  ‘Yes we can.’

  She pulled harder and Roderick let himself be led from the cave. The smoke was clearing and he saw the cave-dwellers pointing and shouting up at them. Some of them started to climb back up the hill.

  ‘This way,’ said Roderick, pointing up to the ledge he had dropped down from. Then his heart fell into his boots. ‘Oh no!’ He had been so clever in planning everything, but he had overlooked one small detail. How were they going to get back up the cliff? They needed a ladder, or a rope, or wings.

  ‘Which way?’ asked Ruby urgently.

  ‘Umm. Yes, see, I didn’t exactly think about that . . . Wait!’ He knelt down. ‘Get on my shoulders.’

  He felt his sword being thrust back into his hand by Ruby and he quickly replaced it in his belt. Her thighs closed around his neck, and he saw her one visible boot dangling near his chest. He pushed up to his feet and turned to face the cave’s mouth.

  ‘Can you reach the ledge?’ he said.

  ‘I think so.’

  He could hear the cave people getting closer. The weight on his shoulders decreased. She must be pulling herself up. The visible boot left his shoulder and headed to the ledge, and then he felt her other boot lift off him. Roderick turned around. The cave people were nearly at the top of the hill.

  ‘Grab Fruitcake’s reins!’ Roderick shouted.

  ‘What?’ She sounded distracted.

  ‘The horse’s reins! Drop them down to me!’

  There was no response.

  ‘Ruby! Come on! They’re coming!’

  ‘Right. Sorry.’

  The boot scrambled up over the ledge. The nearest cave person was so close that Roderick could see his very large nostrils. He drew his sword. He hoped he hadn’t done it in a way that made it completely obvious that he had no idea how to use it. At least he hadn’t cut himself. Then he had a better idea. He put the sword away again.

  One of the rocks he had dropped had not rolled down the hill, but was stuck in a shallow rock gully. Roderick grabbed it and lifted it above his head. The nearest cave person, just a few steps below him, stopped and backed away. The six others coming up behind him also stopped.

  Roderick risked a look around. No sign of the reins.

  The cave-dwellers spread out across the width of the sloped area below the cave. Roderick guessed that in a moment, knowing that he had only one rock, they would rush him. He kept the rock above his head and slowly backed away until he was at the mouth of the cave. His arms were aching.

  The cave-dwellers came closer, over the lip of the slope. Suddenly to his left the reins come dangling down. With a roar Roderick threw the rock towards the cave-dwellers. He leapt for the reins and pulled himself up with all his might. He hoped Ruby had tied them to something solid.

  As he had hoped, the cave-dwellers were distracted by the flying rock, giving Roderick time to hook his foot into a loop of the reins. He heaved himself up and grabbed the ledge. A hand grabbed his foot. He kicked hard and it fell away. He got his other foot up onto the ledge, and Ruby’s invisible hands pulled him up. He looked down at the cave-dwellers. They were only metres away, but they couldn’t reach him. ‘Whoopeee!’ he yelled.

  ‘Enough of that. Hurry!’ said Ruby. She pulled him towards Fruitcake. He tried to re-attach the reins but his hands were shaking too much.

  ‘Let me,’ said Ruby.

  A cave-dweller’s head appeared over the ledge, then a second beside it.

  ‘Get behind me. I’ll ride,’ commanded Ruby. Roderick pulled himself up behind her, grabbed an invisible waist and they were away.

  CHAPTER 7

  BIG, MEAN AND SCARY

  They had been going for only a few minutes when Roderick began to feel ill. He held Ruby tighter to try to stop himself from shaking, but it didn’t work. He just ended up shaking her too. He felt sobs coming and tried to hold them back, but he couldn’t do that either. Ruby ignored him, whether out of disgust or compassion he didn’t know, but either way he was grateful. They rode hard for an hour, staying on top of the ridge. Finally they found another rock shelf with long uninterrupted views back the way they had come that would let them see if they were being followed. They dismounted, drank, and collapsed in the shade of a rocky outcrop while Fruitcake stood about looking slightly bored.

  ‘Thank you,’ said Ruby eventually.

  Roderick nodded, not sure how to reply. Instead he asked, ‘How did they catch you?’

  ‘I was following the path along the valley. I knew it was dangerous country but, being invisible, I felt safe. Then your visibility potion started to work.’

  ‘But only on one foot?’

  ‘Well, no. It seems to have settled down now, but I was coming and going like crazy for a while. First my body came back, but no limbs, then my body disappeared and an arm and a leg became visible. For a while almost all of me was back, even my head, I think. I could just see the tip of my nose. Anyway, I came around a bend into a sort of rock valley with a cliff on one side, and a net dropped on me. They tied me up and carried me up to the cave. On the way, parts of me began to disappear again, until just my foot was left visible.’

  ‘Sorry the potion didn’t work properly. It must have been that eam tree. It was nearly dead. But what did they want you for?’

  ‘I think they were going to eat me.’

  ‘Oh!’

  ‘They kept prodding me, and when they found somewhere a bit fleshy they got all excited, and they had this big carving knife . . .’

  ‘With a blue handle?’ interrupted Roderick, remembering his vision.

  ‘It was grey, I think. Did you see it?’

  ‘Sort of,’ he replied vaguely.

  ‘And there were bones in the cave. Human bones.’

  ‘I saw them.’

  ‘The thing is, Roderick, were there any other Baronian knights headed this way?’

  ‘Not with me. But yes, there must have been because between us we were supposed to search everywhere. Someone could have been with the group that headed west and then come up the back way through the Sirnock Plain. Why? Oh.’

  ‘Yes. Next to what seemed to be the freshest set of bones there was a tunic that looked like yours with that crest on it.’ She pointed at the crest on Roderick’s tunic.

  Roderick started to feel ill again. He wondered who it had been. There was a pause as they both tried not to imagine what had happened to Sir Whoever-it
-was.

  The sun was heading towards the horizon and Roderick got a jacket from his saddlebag.

  ‘I heard you scream,’ he said delicately as he sat back down. ‘What did they do?’

  ‘They were arguing about something. Maybe about what sort of sauce would go best with me. Eventually one of them got out a knife and started performing some sort of ritual dance, doing all these big sweeping moves with it. I think he was building up to something dramatic, like plunging it into my guts, but because he couldn’t see me he kept nearly slicing me. He got me twice by accident, once on the shoulder and once on the arm. Just nicks. Did you know if you’re invisible and you bleed, your blood is invisible?’

  Ruby’s left hand suddenly appeared. It was small with long, strong fingers and fingernails that, frankly, needed a good scrub.

  ‘Oh! Hello, hand!’ she said. ‘Nice to see you again. I’m getting quite used to bits of me coming and going. Speaking of which, why are you here and not searching in that forest for someone you know isn’t there?’

  Roderick still didn’t quite know the answer to that one. ‘I guess I just changed my mind.’

  ‘Well, I’m extremely glad you did. Thank you. And sorry I went missing for a moment there after I got up the cliff.’

  ‘What happened?’

  She sighed. ‘If you must know, I made the mistake of looking over the edge of the cliff down into the valley and I’m . . . Well, I’m not all that good with heights.’

  ‘You’re scared of something?!’

  ‘No! Not scared, exactly . . . just . . . um . . .’

  ‘Just maybe a tiny bit scared?’

  Ruby sighed in exasperation. ‘Maybe a tiny bit. Anyway, sorry.’

  ‘Not a problem. We’re all scared of something.’ Somehow, knowing that Ruby also got scared made him feel a bit better.

  ‘Anyway, what are you going to do now?’ asked Ruby.

  Just as the previous day Roderick had known that he could not make himself accompany Ruby on her search, today he knew he would not turn back. He was still greatly terrified of what he might find ahead, but he knew he would go on.